We all try to live our lives with no regrets. We all want to look back on the things we've done when we come to the end of the road, and say with a proud smile on our face, "I have no regrets." Unfortunately, that's not gonna happen with me.

There's only been one other time in my life when I've felt more guilty over the things that I've done. And that one time was when I indirectly and unintentionally helped someone attempt suicide. Luckily, that person is okay now. But I can't say the same for this. This situation is different. Apparently, he goes out and drinks all the time and can't stop talking about me to all his friends. He tells me he's fine and yet to his other friends he cries. I feel so guilty that the weight of the shame is bringing me down in every way. I feel like I deserve this, but at the same time I know I don't. I know that this was the right decision for me, and yet I feel like I'm being punished for it. Our mutual friends, people who were once my friends, now think I'm a heartless, brutal bitch because I did what I thought was best for the both of us. I say I feel guilty, and people say, "You better be." You guys don't understand. I'm not a bad person-- I didn't cheat on him or anything, I wasn't mean to him, and I don't break up with people just because. I have my own reasons for everything I did.

So please stop giving me shit about it, because honestly, it's not helping anyone. Not you, not me, not him. I already feel guilty enough as is. Please just stop and try to see it from my perspective...