My sleep schedule is entirely screwed up.  But I love it. Haha.

I wish so much to be beautiful.  Not necessarily on the outside (though I wouldn't mind that at all!! Haha), but I want to be that kind of person where people think I get better looking the more they get to know me.  You know what I mean?!  Like there are those types of 언니s where I'm just like "Wow, she's freaking beautiful" based purely on her personality.  I want to be like that.  I dunno, I just want my presence to be a positive one whenever I'm with people.  That kind of presence just makes people feel happy.

Post-it notes are my lifesavers.  Seriously, I mean it.  I write random Bible verses or just little notes to tell myself to have a good day, and I place em all over the wall.  Simple reminders of simple truths.  Who knew they'd help so much?

I dunno what to do for my 21st birthday.  It's coming up in eleven days (!!), and I have nothing planned. If anything, I might just do dinner or something with my family.  So many people are telling me to go crazy and get "white boy schwasted", but I'd really rather grab a few good friends and get a really classy, tasty drink at a super fancy bar... but too bad most of my friends are all younger than me.  Haha dangit.  Forever alone on my birthday?!  Woo!  Kay no.  But seriously, every year I never know what to do for my birthday.  I'm actually kind of dreading it this year, to be completely honest.... haha oh well.

Sighhhh this is starting to be a problem.  But I'll tackle it when it comes to me head on, full force.  I'll worry about it when it's time to worry about it, I'm not gonna try to attack it prematurely.  Why make myself go through all this trouble when I don't have to (yet)??

I feel like I lost a really good friend this week.  I know that you're willing to be friends again, but honestly, I'm not... not because I don't want to, but because I just feel too guilty.  I feel like I've wronged you and hurt you in many ways, and I can't forgive myself for that.  I don't deserve to have a friend as good as you.  Hopefully, one day, I'll be able to forgive myself, and we can go back to where we once used to be.  If you're reading this... I love you so much as a friend and as a sister in Christ.  I miss you, and again, I'm sorry.