Korea

As of this moment, t-minus 22 days until I am sitting on an economy-class window seat on a plane headed for the other side of the world.

I'm going to be traveling by myself for the first time ever-- moreover, to a country that I've never even been to before.  I've never been away from home for more than one week at a time.  Being at school doesn't count because it's only twenty minutes away from home and I see my brother and mom often.  I can barely understand Korean, my vocabulary is as good as that of a 4-year-old's (if even that), and I have no close relatives there.  I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to be doing there as an intern at the company I'm going to work for, and I have no idea how I'm going to overcome the overwhelming language barrier.  I can only imagine the dirty looks that I'm going to receive because of my lack of knowledge of the culture, what with the whole elder-respect thing and stuff.  People keep telling me all these horror stories...  guys there are much more forward and aggressive.  Coworkers will look down on me if I don't drink.  Because I will probably be the youngest, I have to be the first one there at the office and the last one to leave.  I also probably have to get coffee for them, along with other menial tasks.  I will most likely be their little slave.  I'm probably going to offend a lot of people.  I'm probably going to cry a lot.  I'm already getting homesick just thinking about it.

What am I going to do about a phone?  What do I do with money?  How do I know if someone's ripping me off or not when I go buy stuff?  How do I be polite yet stern at the same time (in Korean!)?  Will someone be picking me up from the airport?  How will I get to the company?  How am I supposed to figure out the transportation system by myself?  What do I do about church?  How/where will I find a church with an English service?  How would I get there?

I don't want to go.  I want to spend what could be 태훈이 오빠's last summer here in Georgia with him.  I want to go visit Andy 오빠 in Kansas City.  I want to help my mommy out at her restaurant, especially since one of her employees quit recently.  I want to stay here and just rest for a few weeks.  I haven't had a break during the summer in so long, I just want to hang out with people.  Call up old high school friends and catch up with them.  Call up newly acquired friends and deepen my relationships with them.  Catch up with Sue, Sharon, and Joano.  Play with Grace and have epic adventures together.  Serve at Bethany.  Go to Costa Rica and Dominican Republic.  Serve the youth group at retreats and at Ignite and whatnot.  Have fellowship with the college group and do fundraising activities for KASE, or go on camping trips and whitewater rafting trips and rock-climbing trips with them.  But no, I can't do any of the above.

I don't want to go.

.......... And yet,

I find myself counting down the days with a slight hint of excitement.

What a time of growth it'll be for me...  For me to be pretty much completely on my own, completely independent.  What will I be when I'm plunged into an unfamiliar environment such as this?  Who will I become?  Will I stay the same?  Will I change for the better or for the worse?  Will I conform to be like everyone else?  Will I be true to my personal morals and values?  How will I act around people who don't know me at all?  Will my true character be revealed?

So many questions... but only God holds the answers.
He knows what He's doing.
I just gotta put my faith in Him, amen?