epiphany

My mind is slightly scattered all over the place right now, so just bear with me if this entry doesn't really make any sense.

Maybe everyone else already understands this, or knew about it previously. I myself have heard these things said over and over again, but I don't know why it hasn't really hit me after all this time until today. Last night I had a dream about certain things that I have been wishing for, but I figured, "Hey, God, if it's just not in Your will, then it's okay, I don't want it." But we both know that's a lie. Yet in my dream, I just sat back and watched as I painfully wrapped up my desires and tucked them away in the back of my mind. I awoke this morning, thinking about it, when I had these sudden realizations.

If you recall the book of Jonah (I feel like that book has been speaking to me like CRAZY these days), God was angry with the people of Nineveh and was going to pretty much destroy them. Yet when they started to repent, God changed his mind, and "relented of the disaster that he had said he would do to them, and he did not do it" (Jonah 3:10). Could this mean that just because he said he would do something, it doesn't necessarily mean he'll follow through with it? After all, he is God. He can do whatever he wants, no? So this means he can change his mind too if he really wants to?

But if he is to change his mind, won't we have to ask him to change his mind? For "whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith" (Matthew 21:22). So if we pray for something that wasn't originally in His plan for us... is it possible for us to change His mind through prayer? I mean the possibility HAS to be there. Otherwise, why would Jesus even ask God to take that cup away from him? He had to have known that it's possible for God to change his mind. That possibility, that chance was there (though the answer for this one was "no".. haha). But if we keep on praying earnestly... God can change his mind. Right? So I can just keep on praying; I don't have to give up on these things. Right?!

WHY DID I JUST REALIZE THIS NOW ?!?! IT'S SO OBVIOUS !!

Sheesh... you'd think that after going to church my whole life, I'd know at least a little something about anything. But I'm so immature in my faith. I have so much to learn!


(Disclaimer: This entry isn't at all trying to say that we shouldn't be content with whatever it is that God has planned for us, and that we should just keep on asking Him to change it. Rather, I just mean that there is hope for the things yet to come. So don't give up; keep on praying!! :D)