"The reason why I'm going to these satanic rituals is that I believe it will strengthen me and make me powerful. But it'll turn me away from God and make me evil, and maybe lose my soul."
So you just want strength and power and riches. That's why you're turning away from God? And towards the devil? You just want the very best things that this world can provide you?
"It may sound stupid, but yes."
What about when your life is over? What then? Can you turn to your riches and power to save you?
"I'll burn in hell. For eternity."
You know this... and yet you're still tempted.
"Mmhmm."
Why?
"I don't know."
- - -
It's achingly disturbing.
I'm sorry God... I tried. I know only You can save souls, but he's on a whole different level than what I'm familiar with. For someone to consider literally selling his soul to the devil, even after knowing You? I feel useless. I feel like I haven't gotten through to him at all. He turned to me for help, for guidance towards You. We talked for two hours, both of us hoping that he'll get some of the answers that he's seeking. And yet ... none were answered. Possibly more were formed. I feel like a failure. I know, I know, I did my best and that's all that matters. And God comes in where I fall short. But still... I feel like I should have done more than I did.
Discouraged.
