plans

I didn't get the job that I wanted needed.

I was planning on getting this job since last semester. I even made my whole schedule for this semester revolve around this job's main hours. What with all our recent financial struggles, I simply needed this job...

I went through so much trouble for it. I called the financial office five times, emailed my financial aid advisor four times, left her two messages. A week and a huge mess later, I finally have a work-study award (because I wasn't allowed to apply for the job without it). At the same time, I have to pay back the school $1250 bucks.

But I didn't get the job. Just found out a few minutes ago.

I don't know what I'm gonna do now. I need this job. I have to help my family out. How am I supposed to do that if there's no way for me to earn money? And how am I supposed to pay the school back if I have no job? I was determined to work my butt off this semester. I knew it was gonna be hard trying to balance my schoolwork and a job, but I was ready and willing to do it for the sake of my family. Yeah, I'm taking some hard classes. Yeah, I'm busy with church stuff as well. Yeah, a job would be just be added stress. But I didn't care. I needed this.

...

My plan was to set up my ideal classes for this semester so that I could make this my job that fit into my schedule. ... Angie, Angie, Angie. You and your terrible memory. You already seem to have forgotten.

What a wake up call.

God, I don't know what Your plan is, but I know You will provide. You always have up to now, and so I'll continue to trust in You. I'm sorry for going about this my own way, without even asking for Your help and guidance.

Not by my will, Lord, but Yours. So I'm trusting in You.