Above all.

So, for those of you don't know, I am now single as of yesterday.
I don't want to get too into the details of the break up, but it was mutual. It's just not very likely to work out with over 6,000 miles in between us. But hey, it's fine. I learned a lot about myself, about relationships, and most of all, about God through this experience.

One main thing I learned is that I can't do anything without God. And I mean anything. I really do believe that this relationship was doomed from the start because it wasn't rooted in the Word. Over the past few months, especially the past few weeks, I've been trying to incorporate God into our relationship. It was always me that had to bring up the subject of our faiths, and I just eventually got tired of it. And even when we did talk about our spiritual walks, it wasn't even that in-depth. God was always just the side dish, but never the entree.

As Grace Cheng told me a few days ago, in a relationship, the guy has to lead. That includes the relationship that we share with Christ. The guy should be the one to lead the girl, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. That just wasn't the case with us. I was tired of leading it. I'm beginning to understand why the Bible says that women should be submissive to their husbands. Now I don't think we should be doormats, but we should definitely be followers.

When I look back and think about all the previous guys that I've had little crushes on, they're all so completely different. I liked shorties, tallies, super-almost-anorexic-skinny boys, meaty boys, hilarious boys, serious boys, passionate boys, musicians, rappers, basketball players. But they all have one thing in common. They are all crazy in love with God (at least, at the time that I was attracted to them they were). I don't mean to be all prideful or anything, but... I'm pretty proud of myself, now that I realize this. It made me realize that I don't want to just have a boyfriend. Rather, I want a relationship with a guy who could help me grow in my relationship with Christ.

God is my first love and my only love.
He always has been, and always will be.

I love you Lord,
I worship you.